Day 58 on 3 August - Living Without My Darling Husband

Went to JEM this morning after breakfast.  We took the MRT and leaving late in the morning is good too as the MRT is not packed!  Anyway, we arrived JEM at noon.  Bought 2 white t-shirts to replace his school uniforms as his school is looking at changing the uniforms. Also he's also outgrown them.  Also bought a battery operated shaver from NTUC Xtra.

Having some difficulty shaving him using the manual shaver as I am afraid I might cut him as he wont be able to tell me if I did!  Looks easy to use though.

This morning while I showered Mikaail he said dada no more then he asked if you were busy!  We both missed you and though today is 58th day already, I still didnt dream of you at all!  How have you been?  I hope you are ok there.  Did you meet our parents and Irfan?

I always feel as if I can expect you home at some point.  You took a huge part of me along with you, did you know that?  Sometimes I really dont feel like life is worth living anymore but I cant just leave Mikaail for others to care for him.  As you know, taking care of him is not without challenges!  I'm wondering if you will ever come to my dreams!  I hope it will be soon.  I'm craving to see you again!!  I needed to know how you have been all these past 58 days.  How is life there?  It wouldnt be the same here I dont think.  I hope you are adjusting too.  Do you see us at all and do you miss us too?  May seem silly to be asking you these questions!

Next week is a 3 day work week since Thursday is Hari Raya and Friday is National Day.  The loneliness in the house can drive me nuts.  Nowadays weekends are so quiet that I no longer look forward to weekends except that I dont have to go to work!  With the long holidays coming, I am thinking of going for a weekend getaway so I dont have to be in the house practically by myself though Mikaail and Marie are here.  Really trying for me and also, I didnt want to be celebrating any festivities anymore since you're gone.

Anyway, I may just be walking around at our favourite joint really since it is so last minute to book a cruise!

I am still struggling every morning to get Mikaail ready for school.  Also getting him a taxi has been quite a challenge too.  For some reasons, a couple of times, the taxi either didnt come to the right pick up point or they picked up the wrong passenger!  Then getting into the MRT with a zillion other passengers.  I feel so stressed up just thinking about this as it is long journey and I need a seat!  Now I have an umbrella and a fan in my backpack as sometimes I can hardly feel the ventilation in the MRT!