There are many instances when I suddenly wanted to send you an sms to chat with you not realising that you are no longer around! When I realised it, I started to cry again! I dont know how long I can really tolerate this. Sometimes I feel this is really driving me nuts!
I don't look forward to weekends anymore. It's super depressing as there's only Mikaail, Marie & I. Where and what do we do? A big part of my life is gone with you! I've got no one to really share my daily ups and downs! So now I sometimes tell Mikaail how my day had been but what can he tell me?
You know, the articles I've been reading about Life After Death? I find it more depressing as I am concerned about how you are getting on there. I do hope that you are well and I really want to have the privilege to meet you again soon! I wanted you to tell me how you've been and what do I do now!
I read an article on the angioplasty and death resulting from this procedure is only 1 out of 500! So who screwed this up?? Yes, the doctor said 1% risk is still a risk! The pathologist didnt find any malpractice but he also said that what he saw was the after rather than before! Do you think I should get to the bottom of this whole procedure ie whether there was some form of screw up? I dont know what to do with this. I dont want to regret later on and I dont want to think that I was not being fair to you.
Like in Mikaail's case, yes, I did regret not following through with the hospital as I believe somehow some medical professionals there didnt do a proper follow up. The surgeon said the nerves for the eyes are miles away from where he was going to operate and then when Mikaail lost his vision, what they all did? Nothing!
I also told you before we should all go together. How can I continue life be like this? Almost every night I will cry myself to sleep. I'm heart broken.
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