Evolution of Dance

Came across this You Tube video while surfing the net for children songs. This is one of the most watched videos on You Tube.

Quite entertaining.  Have a good laugh!

Memories of POE 2

I remembered one session when Adam asked something about what would you do if there was a violent fight kind of do or die type. He asked the class and I supposed most of them said they will fight. Then he asked is there anyone who would not fight and I raised my hand. Oh boy, was that a wrong move or what! Tell you why, just read on.

Anyhow, that's how I really felt. With my life, I just felt at times, that it is not worth living. I've always wanted a son for a child since I was in secondary school. I remembered telling my home economics teacher that I would prefer a boy than a girl. In my mind, boy would be easier to take care and they can grow up wild whereas growing wild do not apply for girls.

Then when I got pregnant with a boy, I was so very happy. Then he was diagnosed as a cerebral palsy child at the age of 1. The neurologist told us that he was a mild case of cerebral palsy, but there is no cure. I've accepted him as much as he had accepted me. To make things worst, he had stroke when he turned 7 which was almost 5 years ago.

I really regretted signing the papers to allow the damn doctors to operate on him to save his life! Little did I know that he was going to lose his vision, his speech, his movement. The surgeons then told me that the vision nerves are far away from where they will be operating/cutting the skull. Like hell, it was far away! Up to today, I felt that it's fine if they can save him but at least save a person's life if there is quality. No quality - save for what? For their own personal mission, I would assume. I wished I had the courage to tell the doctors to go to hell!

Anyway, back to Adam, then he asked if someone were to take a knife and kill me, would I allow it. Guess what my answer was? I nodded my head. Another big mistake! He asked if 20 million people die and only one person lived, what would you say to this survivor. Most of the participants responded by saying that they will ask this person to be grateful to be alive or something to the effect. Then he talked about what if you have a quarrel with your sibling. In a fit of anger, you ran across the road. A speeding car just happened to drive by almost knocking you, then the sibling you had the quarrel with managed to pushed you to safety sacrificing himself/herself, what would your life be. My response was I will live the rest of my life in regret as opposed to the others who said they will value their life more so that the sacrifice did not go to naught!

Then he talked about the sperms and the egg thingy. It's like teaching biology - the human body - the birds and the bees! Anyway, while explaining the sperm story about only the strong, determined sperm will survive the journey to the egg, he practically slammed the flipchart and it fell, hitting the wall causing the legs to be dismantled! He looked so angry and I got worried, I cried especially when he said something like I didnt value my own life! I've never seen him so angry in all his sessions I've attended. He's always showed the jovial part of him!

My Life Transformation Experience - POE2

I've completed my Patterns of Excellence Module 2 on 12 April 2009 after spending almost 5 days. It's a course I would encourage every person to attend! Make time for it as your life will change for better! It is a life transformation experience I must say. I am glad that I attended it.

In a nutshell, I experienced the swinging log which is quite a tough walk on a beam hanging by a rope above ground by about 1 foot. Then the coaches will be kicking the beam, shaking it while you walk without having anything to support the walk. The point of this exercise is that life is not a bed or roses and they will be rough times. You are reminded to focus on your goals in order that you can work towards your goals. I completed it after my fourth or fifth attempt.

As for the high beam, it looks really easy as every participant looked so happy on the beam. When I went on the beam, it was different altogether. The scaffolding was made of stainless steel and therefore slippery. To make it worst, I guess it was because my shoes were full of mud and this added to the climb much harder. As I got up the scaffolding, my team mates were chanting some empowering phrases"like Rock Me, while I walked on the beam, they chanted, "Believe in Yourself, Focus, Balance, Keep Walking", on my way down, I cant recall what I had wanted them to chant.

Once I reached the top and before taking the first step on the beam, I froze. I didnt want to let go of the scaffolding. Then I talked to myself, either I let go of my hand, lose focus and fall which means, I would have to go up the scaffolding all over again. Alternatively, focus and take the chance to go on walking and do my best. I also remembered what Stuart did to help me overcome the phobia by taking baby steps. I did precisely that ie baby steps. One small step on the beam at a time and to keep looking at the big red dot!

Language Patterns

During the lessons, I could not really focus on the topics. It is so very confusing. I did read through the reading material though I should have also listen to the CD, given during Module 1. I was so focussed on understanding the values that I had overlooked to listen to both the Milton Model and Meta Model. Wished I did.

I keyed in all the language patterns into my mobile phone so I can read them while travelling on the mrt to home. I've also uploaded all the CDs into my phone to listen to them on my return journey as I dont usually put on my specs when I'm out of the office. Also, journey home is partly sleeping time. Hopefully by listening to the CDs while I am half asleep, my subconscious mind can take over the job!

Good strategy, isn't it?

After the Phobia Cure

Its been more than a year now since the phobia cure session. Memories are still quite fresh in my head. My family and even my maid couldnt believe that I managed 2 conquer my phobia of the snake.

They were surprised that I was able to go through the whole process.  I even had the snake on my shoulder! My husband thought I might back out or probably conquer only 30% - maybe see the snake from a distance and not holding it. He knows that I will be well taken care of since this cure will be handled bythe master trainer himself ie Stuart Tan. What a pity there was no video recording otherwise it will be nice to see the bit that I had no recollection of.

See my finger touching the snake!

Snake on my shoulder -
of course with the master trainer,
Stuart Tan

Sisters

A photo of some of my sisters:  Left to right:  Rose, Me, Elsa, Jay, Serena (niece); Back row: Kayle & Elise (nieces).

I like the following email which was forwarded to me by a friend.  I felt I could connect to this email as it seems very true.

QUOTE
A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother.  As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter.

"Don't forget your Sisters," she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass.  "They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are still going to need Sisters. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them. "Remember that 'Sisters' means ALL the women... your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other women relatives too. "You'll need other women. Women always do."

'What a funny piece of advice!' the young woman thought. Haven't I just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!'

But she listened to her Mother. She kept contact with her Sisters and made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew what  she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, Sisters are the mainstays of her life.

After more than 50 years of living in this world, here is what I've learned:

THIS SAYS IT ALL:

        Time passes.
        Life happens.
        Distance separates.
        Children grow up.
        Jobs come and go.
        Love waxes and wanes.
        Men don't do what they're supposed to do.
        Hearts break.
        Parents die.
        Colleagues forget favors.
        Careers end.    

        BUT.........

Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you.

UNQUOTE

Getting Rid of Phobias

It's been almost a year since I've attended both modules of Patterns of Excellence workshop conducted by Adam Khoo Learning Technology. The funny thing is I felt a sense of emptiness especially after 5 days of all the hyper activities and surrounded by very positive people all around!

Overcoming my phobia issue still seem so fresh in my mind. I am very pleased with myself that I have managed to conquer my phobia of snakes. Prior to participating in this phobia cure, I would usually say "the thing" and everyone around me knows what that means. It seems really strange that I can now write the word, snake, with a slight squeamish feeling although it did feel kind of uncomfortable.

Can you believe this is me with the snake on my shoulders?  I would not have been a metre away from the snake in the first place had I not attended the Patterns of Excellence Module 2.  Yes, I do look scared and I do.  This is the first time I ever had a snake on me!  Honestly, at least the yellow one dont look so scary.  I doubt I would have done the same thing with the black one which was brought into the classroom in the first place.



I had expected the soft toy version of a snake - like the one in Ikea but they used the real thing!
Looking back at what I went through during the fast phobia cure, it was a really very "trying" experience! I've put the word "trying" in quotes as this is a forbidden word in the class and if you are caught using it, you will be penalised and it is quite drastic. I heard from some of my team mates that I really behaved like a kid, jumping and screaming and they were quite shocked actually seeing the process I went through. One of them was worried that I might just go bananas!

I was prepared to have a go at the cure since the cure will be managed by the master himself, Stuart rather than any others. I have a lot of confidence in him and he is extremely patient. Stuart did ask me before I took to the stage whether I was ready for the cure. I told him that I cant say for sure that I am really ready for it as I would like to give it a shot. If I dont do it at the POE 2, I know that I wont do it anywhere else.

Here's my account of the process:

The whole process took about 3 hours instead of the usual 45 minutesand I felt really guilty to have kept all my team mates into the early hours! When I read the manual, it indicated something like between 25 - 45 minutes but I thought probably 1 hour! Luckíly all of them were so supportive and was not a bit upset with me. I really appreciate their thoughtfulness. Stuart was very professional in handling this situation and I am really glad to have had this golden opportunity and extremely grateful for his guidance and patience!!

We started off on a very casual chat with him asking me about my favourite colour - which is pastel pink, my favourite snack - marshmellows. Cant remember what he asked me but I told him that I am basically someone who is very "manja"ie who loves to be hugged lovingly and usually my husband will "sayang-sayang"me. As for friends, some of them would put their arms around me and even hug me. In my mind, I remembered them hugging me to comfort me when my son, Mikaail was in the ICU undergoing a major operation. This was a very traumatic experience which is still fresh in my mind!

Then he asked me close my eyes and to imagine being in a cinema and I was the only one in the cinema, also as the person in the movie as well as the director of the show. I vaguely remembered that he asked me to imagine that I was in the movie. I recalled telling him that I could see forest with big trees, a brown wooden house and the snake. Not sure when I started shivering and my team mates told me they could see me shivering. For them to be able to see me shivering on the stage so strongly is really embarassing. Wish there was a video taken of it so I could see and really share this experience with my husband.


My husband picked me up after class as always and I spent a good 20 minutes telling him about the cure. He was also proud that I actually held the snake. Good thing I had a picture of the snake and me taken using my mobile phone. Most of the photos taken of the phobia was taken courtesy of one of the coaches, Jacklyn.

I remembered Stuart asking me to breathe and guided me through the breathing process. When I came out of this shivering bout, we had little discussion on unrelated topic which is known as break state. While chit chatting, I noted that he made a signal to the coaches and I assumed that it meant for the snake to be brought into the classroom. When I saw the door opened and someone coming in with the snake, I panicked and started running to the corner of the stage and jumping.

Seems that I must have toppled the table or something as I could hear the noises and some people coming onto the stage. I could remember I was crying and screaming. I just kept on crying and screaming. I did hear him shouting at me to "stop it" at least twice and to "shut up" and "scream". Funny thing is I just kept on screaming but when he told me to scream I kept quiet! I remembered pulling his t-shirt to cover my face though.

Anyway, I heard that I had a cup of water splashed on me! No wonder my t-shirt was a little wet but I thought it was due to the jug of water that fell off the table. The things I go through to cure this phobia! Looking back I must have looked really silly - I think more like an idiot!

I did think of stopping the process. However, Stuart said that as we are so far into this phobia cure, it would be in my best interest to continue. He is concerned that my phobia will get intensified if I didnt continue. I didnt want this to happen so decided to go ahead with it. With his assurance that he will be with me all the way, I decided to be brave and proceed.

I was told that at one point I hyperventilated and had to be helped to a chair! Sound scary! These are parts that I am not aware of. I had to ask my team mates as I had very vague memory of these sessions!

Stuart is really patient and he allowed me to decide on how close the snake should be before I am ready to really touch it. It was very gradual. When the snake owner eventually brought the snake close to the stage, I first screamed that I didnt want the snake to be that close. Stuart is so thoughtful and he took me step by step at my own pace to touch the snake. I held his finger first to hold it in order that I do not touch it directly though I will be close enough to see the snake.

I asked him to hold my finger to touch the snake before I eventually touched the snake with my finger. Up to now, I could still feel the sensation of the first touch of the snake. See what the mind can do! I've decided that since I've gone so far, I will make the effort to take a look at the photos taken with the snake on my shoulder.

This is me with Stuart and the snake. To summarise, I feel that I have conquered at least 80% of my phobia. Even when I looked at the photos in my phone and suddenly when this picture appears, I do get a little jittery. I then convince myself that it is ok.

I strongly encourage you to sign up for the Patterns of Excellence course. Once you are able to clear your phobia, you will be able to see things in a different perspective.

Patterns of Excellence - Next Step

I have signed up for the Patterns of Excellence Module 2 workshop. In this Module, there is the phobia bit where you would be able to get rid of your phobia within 25 - 45 minutes, as indicated in the brochure.

I am not sure if I really want to get rid of the phobia as I would have to face it first before I can get rid of it! I am so damn frightened that I have been thinking of this phobia since I heard that the trainers will have real stuff that people would generally have phobia on.

Then, like the Law of Attraction, the more I think about it, the more this phobia keep appearing in the newspapers and TV traillers!

To know what this phobia is, stay tune to my posts. I will have pictures of them as well.

My Phobia - Pre POE Mod 2

As I am writing this post, my most concerning thoughts are how am I supposed to manage my phobia at the POE Mod 2 session. I am terrified just thinking that this thing will be in the class and there will be my classmates who will be holding it. I did think about withdrawing from this session altogether as I am afraid of making a fool of myself in front of so many of my classmates.

This aside, will I be able to overcome this phobia? What if I cant? I believe that I could die of shock if not anything else! If I can, then there is no issue but ... Also, I had wanted to work on testing out the submodalities, swish pattern but was worried that I would have to bring this thing closer to me before I could dump it away!

I needed to get assurance that I wont be left alone by myself. Like I told one of my colleagues, I am very "teh" so I really needed this assurance that there will be someone to hold and sort of sayang me there! The other night during the booster session, I didnt feel this assurance was something that the coaches practice or even preach! Seems like I would need to get a hold of it myself!

Why Must I Change?

This session in the Patterns of Excellence Module 1 is quite intimidating. First, I didnt think there is anything that I should, need, must or want to change! Honestly, I dont think there is anything that I should, want or need to! So I thought the best is to skip this session so I asked to be excused. Of course, as expected, it is not an option. Apparently, every participant has to go through this session.

The demo between the trainer and coach gave me the shivers. I felt that there is really no basis for them to be screaming at each other so I got really nervous. I know that I definitely will breakdown and to do this in front of strangers would be a disaster for me!! I partnered another emotional person and obviously this didnt work! We got separated and both of us partnered our coaches - even more traumatic! Then I did the next best thing - sat on the floor and covered my ears and face as I didnt want to hear the coach screaming at me!

My trainer, Stuart Tan, came over and talked to me. I told him about my feelings towards my son. There is nothing any of the so-called medical professionals could do to correct the wrong!  I felt very cheated as instead of them saving his life with quality, they save his life with no quality whatsoever!

What I learned from this session is that in order for me to be happy, I must first be happy for myself then I can share my happiness with my family. I used to think that it does not matter if I am happy or not so long as my family is happy!

My Patterns of Excellence Experience

Although I attended the Patterns of Excellence course more than a year ago, the activities I've participated in remained in my mind and they all seemed very fresh still.  I do miss the sessions and had hoped to join the team again either as a participant or trainee coach.

For a start, it was very difficult (instead of "trying") to keep myself awake especially between the hours of 9 pm and 12 midnight and this goes on for 4 nights! I had to practically stuffed my face with coffee which on normal days I only drink a glass of iced coffee after lunch. Previously I don't even drink coffee. It's a bad habit I picked up a couple of months ago.

First thing I must remember is to stop using the forbidden word in POE sessions, "TRY"! This word is very expensive when used in the session or within the premises. It cost you anything between $2 and $20! Damn expensive and I had to fork out $30 for it! It really hurts my pocket.  Their logic is if you don't feel the pain, you will continue to use the word!  In short, no pain, no gain.

My son who is a special needs person tends to get really upset whenever we do not understand his hand gesture or his words.  His spoken words are not very clear so it is quite difficult to understand him as well.  He lost his vision when he was 7 due to stroke. I am working towards changing my son's attitude of getting angry by reminding him that he can only get angry 2 times a day for 5 seconds. Then he must change this angry state to a happy state. He bargained for 7 times then he increased it to 8 and now he said 10!

I am also working towards being a bit more patient and not to flare up especially with my maid! She is my stress factor but I must remember to take responsibility for my action instead of blaming her. It is the E + R = O equation.

Swinging Log

On Friday, 11 April, it rained quite heavily that the outdoor activity was postponed to Saturday. So on Saturday, at 8 am, we all set to go to Bishan Park. Adam did the demo and also explained the purpose and what we should be focusing on when walking on the log. Team mates act as supporters standing on both sides of the log. We were all ushered to the log for the group. The ground was muddy and I was having trouble walking on the ground as I didnt want to get my shoes and jeans dirty. On Friday, I had to make a commitment (much against my will) to be the first in any activity. I had to go up on the log first. I had no preparation, no strategy, no action plan - only goal was to reach the other end of the log. When I got up on the log, I had to declare my goal - lose weight and inches. Very weak goals - not a do or die type of goal! Next, as I attempted to lift one foot up and the coach kicked the log, I started screaming. Adam was looking and told the coaches that I need to refocus on my state first. I did a couple of attempts within the 8 minutes allocated and decided not to continue as I was getting really pissed. Not so simple. Does not mean that you want out, you are out. Coaches will speak with you to explain situation. Felt really stressed. Many times I had to ask myself why the hell I am going through this whole process. I told one of the coaches that the log is more shaky than my life!

Patterns of Excellence

I attended a 3.5 day personal empowerment workshop known as Patterns of Excellence with Adam Khoo Learning Technologies Group in March 2009.  I feel everyone should go, even if its not for the workshop, at least go and listen to the preview. Trust me, you will really feel that you want to discover more!

Here is my Personal Mission:

I am an honest, quiet and loving person and my mission is to:

1. be a more patient person so I can fully love and care for my family especially my son, Mikaail.
2. be healthy, fit and energetic so I can enjoy life to the fullest and have the energy to pursue all my goals. I will do this by exercising regularly on my urobic machine and stationary bicycle at least half an hour a day, follow a nutritious diet plan, reduce the high cholesterol intake of food, eliminate negative habits that are impacting my health.

My 5km Shape Run Experience

After I completed both modules of the Patterns of Excellence workshop, I made a commitment to participate in the 5km Shape 2009 Run with the hope that by practising my runs, I would be able to also lose weight thereby bringing my goals closer. 

It's been years since I did any runs so I was pleasantly surprised that I managed to complete the run in under 1 hour!  I did a fair bit of walking actually as I was just not fit enough to complete the full 5km run by running! 

I participated in the Shape 2010 Run this July as well.  Unfortunately, I didnt get much practice either as my son was hospitalised a bit, then I was without maid for a while so I had to rush home after work.

My hubby gave me a lift to Concourse on Beach Road for the Run.  I didnt get to take many photos but I did stop at several locations and asked others to take pictures of me.  Despite this and walking, I still made the 5km in less than what I did in 2009. 

My target for 2011 is to run the full 5 km and hopefully can cover it in 30 minutes!

Apologising

"Apologizing does not mean that you are

wrong and the other one is right...It simply means

 that you value the relationship much more than your ego ..."