Sunday, March 23, 2014
Day 289 on 23 March 2014: Living Without My Darling Husband
Eh darling, I'm really so stressed these days! Nowadays Mikaail has several seizures in a day and usually after his seizures, he will be sleepy. He was so quiet and dont respond to questions. It's just like a living toy! It may sound so harsh but that's what is happening at the moment!
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Day 278 on 13 March 2014: Living Without My Darling Husband
Another humid & hazy day! Mikaail had seizures 3 times very early this am including one major attack. Then the last one at 4:07am looks like he was about to get the major one then I kept stroking his arms and tell him to relax n not to think too much. You are already in heaven. You don't know how much he was looking for you & the kind of stress we're going thru almost on a daily basis!
Last evening when I got home he did his peek-a-boo thing then he waited to peek-a-boo you! I can't blame him as he absolutely have no understanding of death. Did you ever come visit him? Eh dear do you miss us??
Do you know how stressed I am now?? I can't call it quits yet but on the home front super stressed man. You know how it is! So do something please!!
BTW, I've been thinking how did you end up with such a high cholesterol go into the unhealthy levels when u r generally consuming identical foods as me! Only diff is perhaps i hv cholesterol med since mine was high thru genes plus those magic capsules shd hv contained your cholesterol level!
I'm very alone now dear! No one to share my thoughts! Come visit please!
Last evening when I got home he did his peek-a-boo thing then he waited to peek-a-boo you! I can't blame him as he absolutely have no understanding of death. Did you ever come visit him? Eh dear do you miss us??
Do you know how stressed I am now?? I can't call it quits yet but on the home front super stressed man. You know how it is! So do something please!!
BTW, I've been thinking how did you end up with such a high cholesterol go into the unhealthy levels when u r generally consuming identical foods as me! Only diff is perhaps i hv cholesterol med since mine was high thru genes plus those magic capsules shd hv contained your cholesterol level!
I'm very alone now dear! No one to share my thoughts! Come visit please!
Monday, March 10, 2014
Day 276 on 10 March 2014: Living Without My Darling Husband
Stuffy MRT ride this morning I guess it's the timing. I left later today at 725 instead of 7 am. Mikaail is still on medical leave till tomorrow. He should be back in school on Wed though.
You know what? Joe Augustin, the DJ from Class 95 Morning Express brought up the issue of inconsiderate users who used the handicap toilet for their own selfish reasons. I could relate to his frustration. Apparently he was at a mall with his family & encounter this issue. Didn't know he has a handicap son. He was pissed that a normal person came out of the handicap toilet. Usually I tell those able bodied users of the handicap toilets that they must be more considerate by not using these toilets! I supposed you will only know the frustration when there is a family member who needs to use the handicap toilet otherwise ...
Joe took a photo of this guy when he came out of the handicap toilet and had wanted to shame this guy by posting his photo. He wanted to get feedback from listeners first though. I was rather keen to call in but I was in the mrt and I was also so busy at work today! Every day is a busy day! Anyway Glenn came up with a so-called perfect solution - voice activated door. He said in order for the user to use the handicap toilets, the user must say "I am handicapped" and the door will be opened! Like some magical chants!! Obviously Glenn never had any contact with people with special needs! When I heard his suggestion my thoughts immediately went to Mikaail and wanted to tell him stop his crap!
No point in shaming the guy who used the handicap toilet neither is there any merit for the voice activated door! What we need is some form of penalty for misusing the handicap toilets! Penalties usually work especially when the pocket is hurt!
Also I was thinking about Mikaail's mood and I'm unsure if it has anything to do with us going back to Woodlands! He was very quiet since Saturday and we were in Woodlands on both Saturday and Sunday to pack up the stuff. My intention was to rent out our place since I am pretty much staying with Mariah now. Mikaail misses you very much and worst since he cant express himself and I also don't know how to explain to him about death.
You know what? Joe Augustin, the DJ from Class 95 Morning Express brought up the issue of inconsiderate users who used the handicap toilet for their own selfish reasons. I could relate to his frustration. Apparently he was at a mall with his family & encounter this issue. Didn't know he has a handicap son. He was pissed that a normal person came out of the handicap toilet. Usually I tell those able bodied users of the handicap toilets that they must be more considerate by not using these toilets! I supposed you will only know the frustration when there is a family member who needs to use the handicap toilet otherwise ...
Joe took a photo of this guy when he came out of the handicap toilet and had wanted to shame this guy by posting his photo. He wanted to get feedback from listeners first though. I was rather keen to call in but I was in the mrt and I was also so busy at work today! Every day is a busy day! Anyway Glenn came up with a so-called perfect solution - voice activated door. He said in order for the user to use the handicap toilets, the user must say "I am handicapped" and the door will be opened! Like some magical chants!! Obviously Glenn never had any contact with people with special needs! When I heard his suggestion my thoughts immediately went to Mikaail and wanted to tell him stop his crap!
No point in shaming the guy who used the handicap toilet neither is there any merit for the voice activated door! What we need is some form of penalty for misusing the handicap toilets! Penalties usually work especially when the pocket is hurt!
Also I was thinking about Mikaail's mood and I'm unsure if it has anything to do with us going back to Woodlands! He was very quiet since Saturday and we were in Woodlands on both Saturday and Sunday to pack up the stuff. My intention was to rent out our place since I am pretty much staying with Mariah now. Mikaail misses you very much and worst since he cant express himself and I also don't know how to explain to him about death.
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Day 275 on 9 Mar 2014: Living Without My Darling Husband
Spent the day in Woodlands to clear up the place. Made arrangement with Rose, Jaye & Kak Azizah to meet there. The mosque which Rose frequent is organising a jumble sale next weekend. I donated most of your stuff including your neck ties etc. Shucks! Just realized that I didn't remove the tie I bought for you too!
I thought I was able to go through your stuff but midway I started to cry. Still got lots to go through but I'll do as much as I can when I am there. You know I've been controlling my emo. I will do my best not to cry at least not in front of our family. Then at work I'm always so busy and a totally different focus altogether. The only time I can really cry is when I am in the shower! If my eyes get red, I always say the shampoo got into my eyes!
Then Mikaail's seizures, appetite and mood is going topsy turvy too. He had seizures about 5 - 10 times a day then Dr Ong gave him a new medication, pregabalin. Initially seems like the medication was working fine. He seemed more alert but then today, he started being quiet again! If you ask him to smile, he will smile for you - obliging just like you!
I thought I was able to go through your stuff but midway I started to cry. Still got lots to go through but I'll do as much as I can when I am there. You know I've been controlling my emo. I will do my best not to cry at least not in front of our family. Then at work I'm always so busy and a totally different focus altogether. The only time I can really cry is when I am in the shower! If my eyes get red, I always say the shampoo got into my eyes!
Then Mikaail's seizures, appetite and mood is going topsy turvy too. He had seizures about 5 - 10 times a day then Dr Ong gave him a new medication, pregabalin. Initially seems like the medication was working fine. He seemed more alert but then today, he started being quiet again! If you ask him to smile, he will smile for you - obliging just like you!
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