How time flies! My mum had departed from this world more than a year already and I feel like it was just so recent! In fact it was in 2011 that she passed on. The date & event still fresh in my mind and there are many times when I wished she is still alive!
On Monday 26 Sept 11 she called me in the office to say she wanted to go to the hospital. I rushed home & upon reaching home, I called the ambulance. In order for the SCDF ambulance to pick her, she would be sent to Khoo Teck Puat Hospital since this hospital is the closest to my home. So I had to arrange for a private ambulance to pick her and they can send her to Tan Tock Seng Hospital since she all her treatment had been with Tan Tock Seng Hospital.
When I got home I noticed that she looked rather weak & she also complained of difficulty breathing. I told her that the ambulance is on it's way & that she will be alright. That was about the last time we spoke!
After the A&E formalities, she was wheeled into the ward. Then her regular doctor came - don't know his name but my sister recognised him as my mum regular doctor. Usually when I visit my mum during her hospital stays, it is during visiting hours & doctors generally do not see patients during visiting hours. I feel this is to minimise their stress from attending to queries from patients' families!!
Anyhow, this doctor showed us the x-rays taken after my mum was discharged earlier in September and of x-rays taken at A&E upon admission. He said that looking at these x-rays & my mum's current condition, it will be difficult for her to sustain. She would have to go through several other operations to insert tubes to remove the fluid in her lung. This will of course be painful for her and she had previously said that she would not want to go through the pain over and over again. No one can tell how many times she would need to go through the process.
So taking into account the pain my mum went through over the past months especially the most recent months when she groaned in pain in the middle of the night, her inability to eat, the little fluid she's allowed to drink plus of course this doctor's suggestion, we decided to let her go on condition that the hospital is able to not let her feel any pain so it will be peaceful departure for her. All of this happened on Monday evening.
Looking back the whole process was a bit flawed! Who wouldn't be dead if there's absolutely no treatment other than being administered with calming medication when the person is seriously ill!! That's what my mum was given from the day she was admitted right up to when she left this world!
Then on day 3 also the final day, another doctor came to see mum & my brother was there. The doctor told him to the effect that if treatment was given she could have lived but now it's too late! I could have punched my mum regular doctor! He gave us the notion that it was beyond hope and now this guy seems to think that it is possible! Idiots!!
My mum left me that day on Wednesday, 28 September around 1:30 pm though her last breath was a bit earlier but a doctor need to come and certify that she is gone so this takes a bit more time!
A couple of weeks after mum left, I had a dream. Mum was walking towards my home in a pink coloured dress. She looked happy but she couldn't come into my home as my immediate neighbour had lots of unwanted stuff stacked up along the corridor and was blocking her way. She saw me and we both looked at each other and she smiled. Thinking back does this mean that mum is ok that she left this world?
Personally if I could turn back time, I would have insisted that the doctor should cure her first with the least painful option. Then at least maybe mum can really say her peace! Her jewelleries, not that there are tonnes, could be distributed to whoever she wants rather than fall into someone else hands out of convenience!
